That’s right. I have been gone quite a while, and although I am sure no one has really noticed (except for my brother, who never leaves damn comments anyway), I noticed, and I missed the blog. I guess I just didn’t feel like I had that much to write about. A lot in my mind, but nothing that I can quite type out.
The fam has been really busy, which is great, and exhausting. Mr. Man’s soccer season is coming to an end, Dandall got a great promotion and is busier than ever, Doodle Bug is growing like a freaking weed at 22 pounds and almost a year old. Almost a year old… I can not believe I just typed that. AND… we just got back from a fabulous Disneyland trip. This year has been the fastest year of my life. That, I know for sure.
I am still trying to find my way in this crazy life of motherhood, staying at home, and also working from home. I am very lucky that I can stay at home, and am lucky that I found a job that I could do from home that allows me to have this lifestyle. I would be lying if I said it was easy though. The only time I can really work is while Doodle Bug naps, or after the kids go to sleep. “Me” time has become obsolete, and well, I miss it.
I guess I am torn. I have a great life, and am thankful for it every day. On the other hand though, because I stay at home, I feel like I should be “Super Mom” and “Super Wife”. I should have an impeccable house, always have nice, well balanced, carefully prepared meals on the table for my family, spend lots of time making crafts and fun games with my kids, and do it all with a smile. No one makes me feel like I should accomplish all of this though except for me. I do it all to myself.
And while doing all of that, I feel like I should have the time to keep up and reconnect with my friends, and make new friends… spend time working on things that I love such as baking, cake decorating, sewing, learning to knit, etc. I feel like I should make the time and have the energy to exercise, and take care of myself. I feel like I need to make “me” a priority once again. Then, I feel guilty for even thinking that.
I also feel like I must be the only woman feeling this way. Do others really make themselves this crazy and have ridiculous standards that they feel they need to live up to? I want to say no, but I have a feeling that the answer is yes.
When I was growing up, my mom stayed at home. She was the PERFECT mother in all ways… June Cleaver meets Martha Stewart meets Mrs. Brady, etc. Seriously. How did she do it ALL? How did she pull it all off with a smile on her face? What was her secret? Now… she did make some decisions with my father that peeved me, and that I will probably never understand, but as a mother… WOW. I will never measure up. And I want so desperately to. I have asked her how she did it all, and she just shrugs it off with a half-not really-answer. Tell me the damn secret… WOMAN! Or maybe the real secret is that things weren’t as perfect as I remember them to be. The childhood memory part of my brain finds that hard to believe though.
If someone has the answer to pulling all of this off… please contact me ASAP. Thank you.
perfection is overrated. I think you’re doing a great job being a mother. you got that down to a science. You know too well, I overload myself with too much to do and I still don’t have a clue how to do it all. but i figure when my baby stands up to make her valedictorian speech, I’ll sit back and say that it was all worth it. heehee
you’re definitely not being selfish for trying to find me-time. You need to do that. I don’t think we could be great moms or wives, or just contributors to society if we as individuals aren’t satisfied as a whole. You go!!
Girl, you are definitely NOT the only one! And I must say, you NEED to find a little bit of time for yourself once in a while. You’re mental and physical health is SO important. Because if you get sick, or just plain worn out, it’s not good for ANYONE.
I think you are a fabulous mother. You do so much for your family, and I admire you so much. But if you don’t take care of yourself, even if it just means scheduling out time once a week to take a totally uninterrupted and totally decadent bubble bath, you won’t be able to continue at the pace you’re going.
I agree with Julie. Perfection is overrated. It’s a different world from when our mom’s were taking care of bidness. Happiness and contentment with your life is completely up to you. If you don’t feel you’re “good enough” now, a hospital sterile house and Wolfgang Puck-worthy meals on the table every night aren’t going to make you feel good enough.
And lady, I assure you, you are MORE than “good enough”. Just remember that, and do the best you can! That’s what really counts in life! {{HUGS}}
Much less was expected of our Moms. They weren’t bombarded by electronic media like we are. Most probably didn’t work away from home. Mine didn’t. Everyone had less “stuff” and I think that made it much easier to keep it all organized and under control.
You are doing a great job! No kid ever said when they were grown that they wish their Mom spent more time cleaning and less time with them.
Well even if you didn’t call me out for not leaving a reply this time, I feel that I needed to say somthing about this rant of yours.
First off, you don’t need to compare to how mom used to do it because the beauty of being a mom is taking all the good and bad of your childhood, and molding it into how you want to raise your own children. We all know that there isn’t a manual for the most important thing in life, and that’s obviously on how you are supposed to raise your children.
The irony of it all is that we all hold ourselves to this certain level of perfection and we will never reach it. Your mother never did, and the harsh reality is that you never will either. The only “picture perfect” life that exists is the picture that our friends and family create in their percieved minds. They all think that their life isn’t as good as this person, or that person, and they will constantly beat themselves up for it.
Obviously I am not married and do not have any kids (Thank God!), but I do know that I have had a great education from my mother and sister. I feel that I have had an Ivy League degree on how to raise your children and how to make the sacrifices that are needed to keep the wheels running. The great thing about your life is that you have a husband and two beautiful children that love and adore you, and could give two shits about the “bigger picture”. So don’t be so hard on yourself and realize that a lot of people look up to you and envy you, and if you need to bake a cake to keep your sanity…… then by God get your Martha Stewart on!!!!
I sent a great reply to this blog entry and it got erased by ny stupid computer. It was totally Hans Soloish, but now I can’t remember all the great stuff I typed. All I know is that you are loved and adored by your husband and two children and they could give two shits about the “bigger picture”. You are perfect in your own way and don’t you forget that…… and if you have to bake a cake or two to keep that sanity or yours, then by all means get your Martha Stewart on!!!
Uhh, I haven’t figured out how to pull it off yet so I am probably no help. I broke down the other day at work over no “me” time. I’d like to say it is NOT selfish b/c in reality it isn’t we all need it but I struggle with the concept too.
You are amazing. If you can hold on I’ll be in Vegas in July (17-21 to be exact) so I’ll make sure you have some me time then!!
hey-i forget what your code name is for me on this site, but it is your husband. I think you do an amazing job of being a Mom. The best i have ever seen actually. You are too hard on yourself and always trying to be like someone else, be yourself and do things your way. It usually is the best way.
If you need more me time, ask. I am happy to watch the kids so you can get out. I get to go to work and escape the family life five days a week. You don’t get that luxury so make time for it and i will be sure to make sure you can do so by watching the kiddos.
If life were easy, everyone would be on MTV Cribs. It isn’t. The challenges we face today better prepare us for tomorrow. I told you when we were engaged, if life were a road trip-you are the only person i would ever want to be riding shot gun.
Oh, i bought one of those easy buttons at Staples so the house cleaning will be, well, easy
I love you just the way you are.
Long time no “talk”. I have no answers but I had thought of you.